Birthdays are a time of introspection. A time where we stop moving, turn off the engine to pause and think; Where am I going and am I going fast enough?
So many years have gone by and what have I become? What new thing have I achieved and how much have I come close to gaining the success that I oh so dreamt about exactly a year ago? Before we turn on the engines again, some of us may satisfactorily look back but then another pause... If I have achieved what I had wanted, crossed and surpassed the milestone set before me; Gained steps far ahead my peers; A few lakhs more of earnings, a new camera or lens, a new car, another item checked in my travel bucket list... Now what? What happens after this?
When I look back at the last year, I find myself asking some of these questions like millions around me and realise that the real question is not what more but what now. We like to think about ourselves as someone who are far greater than we actually are. Something like a utopian mirror which always over beautifies it's viewers far above reality. The mirror lies... The portrait above is a reality check for me. It's something I shot last year this very day to remind myself that I am imperfect. A flawed photographer, a flawed husband and a flawed human being. The reflection is not clear and there will be some things that I will never gain as long as I live. But our lives are not measured by how great we are on earth. It's goes far beyond such a shallow measure. I'm reminded of what the good book says:
My life and my soul's measure is not my work or my creative or business skills or my name in the industry and there will be some things which will be clear only on the other side of heaven. The wreck is temporary. It will be built anew one day. Till then, here I am living with all my flaws and joys and mercies that I experience everyday.
My name is Abhishek. I am 29 years old. I am a momentary wreck.
And this is my first ever blog post.
P.S. For more of my work for the Portrait365 project please visit my Tumblr blog at http://abhishekscariya.tumblr.com